From Battlestar Galactica, Season 4, Episode 18 "Someone to Watch Over Me", about 24:30

The piano player, Slick, which Kara doesn't realize yet is a vision of her father...

"Listen. It may feel like hell, but sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction, doesn't mean you don't have one."

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iSVhNyq77wCKK2TaoTWPAbL91Ga...

I found this recent article hitting too close to home. I was turned down for assistance because I owned a Harley. (Well, the bank owns it.) I had no car. No savings. Uncertain income. Definite bills. But the Harley was a "luxury" item that disqualified me. And I have the smallest, cheapest Harley they make.

Suffice it to say, that man - or woman - does not live on bread alone.

I bought a poster the other day that has a list of 101 Places to See Before You Die. I thought it sounded like a hell of a good idea. I was looking to change my job title to "Vagabond" anyway, so why not do it with style. :-)

They say that as a person grows older, every loss is felt more heavily because it brings back memories of previous losses. I've had enough losses in recent years that apparently it doesn't take much to set me off.

Yesterday, I awoke to a story (and picture) in the paper regarding the murder of my former co-worker. It was about the fact that the family will be holding a memorial service this weekend, even though they have yet to find his body. (If you're not aware of the details, they found his head in the presumed murderers basement - so there is evidence and a death decree.) I actually heard about the service weeks ago, but I really didn't expect it to be lead story stuff.

Didn't think much about it, or so I thought. Had a bit of a slow day - meaning too much time to think - and then headed to a pub. I haven't decided if that was the best or the worst thing to do. More time to sit alone and think. (Well, and eat too. Tuesdays are hamburger basket specials.) True to form, alcohol loosens you up, and the emotions got a bit overwhelming. I think the circumstances, and the timing, of his death has shaken me more than I know. Add that to the other challenges I've been up against and it was a bit of a rough night.

Yet once again, my friends stepped up to help me through. Always amazed how folks reach out. Virtual hugs count!!! As much as what I probably really need is a physical shoulder to cry on, I'm always amazed by how much of a difference it makes when folks reach out to help. I really hate dragging everyone in, but I have no where else to turn. I do what I can, with what I have, where I'm at.

So consider this post a *group hug* to all my online friends. Those I've met and those I've yet to meet. Those that reached out at the time and those who just watched it play out. I fear I may need you all again, but as you know, I'm also happy to return the favor.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I've spent the past few days in Utah at an event known as Nerdtacular (www.nerdtacular.com). What the hell is Nerdtacular? Well, I've decided that it's a family reunion for nerds. Scott Johnson of Frogpants Studios is the driving force behind the event. It's been happening for five years now and I've been trying to get there for the last three.
For me it was a chance to meet up again with folks I met at the New Media Expo in Las Vegas back in 2008. I've mentioned that event in this blog before. It really did mark a turning point in my life.
It was also a opportunity to meet, for the first time, people I've known through Twitter, or through playing World of Warcraft. After exchanging virtual hugs for years, it was nice to get some real life ones.

Nerdtacular also was an occasion to meet some new folks. So many nerds with so much in common. And such great people. My Twitter list grew quite a bit over the weekend.

So what *is* Nerdtacular? It was a day of events surrounding podcasters affiliated with Frogpants Studios. There was a panel where we could just listen to our favorite "famous on the internet" folks just talk about various things. There was a game show with some of the "celebrities." There was a panel of folks talking about video games. And there was a live recording of an episode of the Film Sack podcast.

Just as importantly, the day after Nerdtacular, a bunch of folks went to a movie (Super 8), went bowling, and went out for dinner. It was just a day to mingle with folks I've only known through Twitter, but shared a common interest with. And the variety of folks was as broad as the Mississippi in New Orleans. Love the fact that such a diverse group had so much in common and really felt like family.

There are more stories to tell, but that's the quick overview. Perhaps I'll add more posts later about the good time I had there. Especially about the Nerdhouse. I haven't even mentioned the Nerdhouse yet.

Well this has been quite a frakkin week. Started out with some puffy white clouds in the sky only to be hit by a bolt of lightning. Sent me reeling for days. And most everyone knows it. (You're thick if you don't.)

But what really has me thinking today is a quiet whisper that came my way Friday afternoon. It's really nothing, and has yet to play out. But once again, it seems the universe has reached out just in time to break my fall.
Sorry for screaming on the way down.

My friend @Bearbutt had his own blog post where he listed all the podcasts he listens to. At the risk of providing evidence for my internment, I thought I'd do the same. Here goes (and in no particular order):

Was just thinking about how one particular class I had in grad school has impacted my life. Took an "Instructional Simulations and Games" course and as an assignment I started playing World of Warcraft. As it was a bad night for getting any sort of decent name for my new character, I wound up with "Bonnyface." Good or bad, like it or not, it's stuck with me ever since. I know there are a number of people out there that only know me by that name. And yes, I answer to it.

Playing World of Warcraft (even though I thoroughly suck at it) changed my understanding of games in general and changed the way I connect with my two boys, both of which are/were big-time into the game. It's given us a whole new way to communicate and a better understanding of each other. And can I admit I actually became a fan of the game nearly as much as they are?

That class/game has led to other connections in my life. It got me listening to podcasts. (I had to learn more about WoW quickly.) It was the motivating factor in my interest in the New Media Expo back in 2008. At that event, I met dozens of folks who continue to be important to me to this day. My career aspirations may have undergone a change in direction at that event that I didn't realize until a couple of years later and maybe still can't articulate. Heck, it got me hooked on Twitter. And it is what encouraged me to attend the Macworld Expo, which is a whole other seismic event in my life.

In a couple of weeks I'm headed to Nerdtacular 2011, an event I've been trying to get to for three years. Somehow it seems things have come full circle, or maybe fully blossomed might be a better way to describe it. I'm looking forward to seeing some folks that I haven't seen since this all began. This is all really pretty amazing. Perhaps a small miracle. I have no idea how this will continue to play out in shaping my future, but I get the feeling its not done yet.

Julie Kuehl
Sent from my iPhone :-)